Many long months of
Forced inactivity.
Staring blankly
Out the window.
No longer part of
The regular world.
To and fro they go,
Living their lives.
Normality such
A foreign concept.
Nothing much going on,
Like every other day.
She remembers when life
Felt full of promise,
When she would wake up
And things mattered,
The excitement of
What was to come,
The joy in even the
Smallest occurrences,
Barely a memory now,
Replaced by a void.
They meet at their
Favorite restaurant but
There’s not much to
Say and hasn’t been
For some time now.
Staring at their
Plates, moving their
Food around, waiting
For something that
Won’t come.
They both remember
Vivid conversations,
Ready laughter,
Looking forward to
Seeing each other.
No one could identify the exact
Moment when he turned the corner.
It might have been the death of his
Brother, or an unexpected call
Announcing he was to be a father, or
His hours being cut at the plant.
Regardless, he showed no exterior
Signs of discomfort except for the
Occasional grumpy comment.
He went on as if everything was
Business as usual, the new him
Gradually revealed.
You could have just told me that
You didn’t want to see me any
Longer instead of inviting me to
The party so I could be an
Eyewitness to the horrifying
Spectacle of you greatly enjoying
Someone else’s company.
It might have saved my heart from
Hemorrhaging behind a freakishly
Plastered-on smile and compulsive,
Frail attempts at humor.
Spasming, freshly wounded.
An excruciatingly unwelcome moment for
Someone who so desperately needs to
Be loved. The unwavering stare of flowering
Affection, the heightened awareness,
Euphoric rush intermingled with boundless
Expectation. The last look, final embrace,
A beautiful story relegated to the past
Before it commences, a memory to be
Replayed yearningly, repeatedly.
I never knew how excruciatingly
Uncomfortable things could get
Until I opened my mouth and let
My inner thoughts take flight.
The ensuing deluge of silence
Underscoring the deep rift
Like a jagged rupture in the
Landscape extending to the
Horizon and falling off the edge
To crash upon unyielding ground.
I saw her on a bus travelling down
A busy thoroughfare, on the way to
A bustling downtown. Our eyes met and
We exchanged a smile. She stood up,
Brushed a strand of auburn hair off her face,
Rang the bell, and got off at the next stop.
As the bus drove away our eyes met again.
My mind in turmoil, I hastily approached
The bus driver and asked to be let off
Between stops. I’m sorry sir, that’s against
The rules, he said deadpan, staring straight ahead.
The next stop too far away.
Eyes slowly, calmly fluttering open,
Deep breaths of still, clean
Morning air on the veranda,
A thoughtfully prepared cup of coffee.
Contentedly enjoying the greenery
In a soft inviting chair.
A restorative peaceful moment,
The comforting warmth of
Everything going well.
Then, sudden, absolute, total
Nothingness.
