He wasn’t always this way,
There was a time when he
Woke up with dreams of
Peace and love,
Vast horizons beckoning,
The joy of discovery,
Hope for a better world.
When the first windfall
Came his way, he pushed
Everything else aside,
The optimism, delight,
Crushed by the weight of
The fear of losing it all.
So afraid of the churning
Rabble of miscreant panhandlers
Maliciously trying to get
Their grubby hands
On his wealth,
He went to great pains
Minimizing and demonizing,
A self-appointed,
Scepter-shaking saint,
Piously declaring
Them trash.
The painful sadness
Of an agile mind
Succumbing to fear,
Leaving behind any
Hope of a brighter day,
Crumpling into sorrow,
Unable to hear
A beautiful song of
Courage and love.
Only one point of view
Is respectable,
The moment ripe for
Grotesquely inadequate and
Malformed perceptions to
Populate well-meaning minds
Reacting from a place of
Pain and fear
Never admitted.
Maintain the momentum,
Eradicate dissenting utterances,
Sweep them under the rug as
Bothersome, trifling dust.
A new day arrives brandishing
A glinting sword, the
Contracted face of
Judgment unmistakable,
Zeal palpable.
A series of crises jolt frail,
Susceptible minds into visceral fear.
Whom to blame, someone, anyone.
Single out the weakest,
Attach despective labels.
Rail against fabricated enemies of
Crumbling state of mind.
Revel in the reassuring words of
Mendacious itinerant salesmen,
Venal opportunists promising to
Protect you from your
Recurring, misplaced nightmare and
Restore order.
I never thought it would be
You who would betray my
Trust, shred my dignity,
Stain my dreams, scoff at
My pain, inject doubt into
My being. A childish game,
Played by a twitching dolt,
Callously consequential.
I didn’t realize at the time
That my being was being
Crushed, image manipulated,
Distorted into disbelief.
Moving hesitantly, beseeching
Help for the most simple of tasks,
Waiting for approval that never came,
Tremors of self-doubt enduring.
Erase my horizons, tell me there
Is no sunrise. I’ll come along,
Heart exposed, eager to please,
Unwitting accomplice.
Waiting on heightened alert,
Ready to spring into action in a
Millisecond against foes real and
Imagined.
Shadows appear where none exist,
Certainty eclipses rationality,
Bravado masks fear unattended and
Believed.
Sorry my kindness didn’t meet
Your expectations, fear gripping
So tightly, no room left for
Alternatives, restricted space.
Sorry my smile sent you into
Paroxysms of suspicion,
Alien threat writhing deep within,
No alternatives to constriction.
Sorry my caution elicited such
Confusion and bewilderment,
Lack of respect brazenly hurled,
No alternatives to entrenchment.
