Although no one can tell
From the outside,
There are many seemingly
Insignificant events that
Send him into paroxysms
Of discomfort and anxiety,
His mind overwhelmed by
Intrusions he has no choice
But to endure, disproportionate
Reactions to abstractions,
A tight smile the only hint of
The incessant turmoil within.
His entire world
Exists within a
Five mile radius,
By choice.
An exchange of a
Courageous life for the
Illusion of safety,
Joy for predictability.
Day after day,
The same thing,
Without variation.
Things never turn out well
When people put their
Hopes and dreams in
Violence, hardness,
False bravado,
Trying to project strength
Where only fear resides.
There are so many other paths
Leading to far more
Beautiful destinations
Than dread,
Places where love is the norm.
They need someone to
Give them easy answers to
Difficult questions,
Tell them what to do and
When to do it,
Condone comfort in
Brutality and selfishness,
Assure them that it’s okay
To destroy the vulnerable,
Assert supremacy so they may
Feel a moment of ease
In their fear-addled minds
While attempting to revive a
False past that never existed.
They sit across
From each other,
Neither knowing
What to say, or
When it might be
Appropriate to
Bring it up,
That thing they’ve
Been avoiding,
The one that has
Gotten so big,
Unwieldy,
Unignorable.
He calls his
Grandson’s passion
A hobby,
Reducing dreams
To dust
In an instant,
Encouraging conformity
To arbitrary rules
Born of fear,
Crushing blooming flowers.
They huddle together
In their towns,
Wary of outsiders,
Hanging on to a myth
About how things are
Supposed to be,
Devised by people
As scared as them.
All he’s able to
Feel is the fear
They keep driving
Into his already
Frazzled brain,
A constant pulse of
Anxiety and dread,
Pictures of horrible
Things happening
Everywhere, too much
To assimilate in any
Other way than panic,
Insidious affliction.
A moment of unexpected,
Irrational fear,
Fleeing from a predator
Where there is none,
Subconscious poison
Introduced long ago,
A passing observation,
Furrowed brow,
Explicit statement,
Unanticipated display
Followed by shame,
Though not in some,
Which is why it
Persists.
