Dreams unrealized
Yet still
Vibrant.
Experiences anticipated,
Moments of elation,
Excitement.
Respite from the
Monotony,
Welcome movement.
Talking about
All the things
That will be.
Future triumphs
Engendered deliberately,
Hopefully.
She gleefully tells her
Class of college students
That she’s a proud
Believer in all things
Reactionary,
At once telegraphing
What she believes
And what she fears.
Nobody says anything,
The already indoctrinated smile,
Others sit in silent horror or
Perhaps boredom from
Having heard the
Same tired speech
So many times.
Gazing wistfully at
The cassette tape,
Remembering a time
That will never return,
Friends long gone,
Events relegated to
Personal history,
Remembered perhaps
Only by him,
A mix of happiness and loss.
I know you’re scared.
I see the discomfort
Contorting your face
When anyone gets close
To exposing who you
Really are: The broken,
Hurt being who never
Had the love he needed
And was forced to pretend
It didn’t matter,
The gentle person who
Gets trampled so many times
That he loses the ability
To feel for himself or others.
I know you have some
Fantasy about a death bed
Scene where you say the
Perfect thing that makes
Everything okay but is
Just another hollow gesture
Meaning very little to
Anyone but you.
Things were never really
As you saw them,
Pronouncements aren’t
Remotely close to compassion.
She doesn’t pause for
Even a moment
Before she launches
The attack,
Anger buzzing inside her,
Thoughts clouded by
An overwhelming need
To fight.
The object of her onslaught
Recoils nonplussed,
Disconcerted by the
Abrupt ferocity,
Unaware of why it’s
Happening at all,
Given that this is
The first time they’ve met.
If you had told me
That that one event
Would change my life
So irreparably, I
Would have laughed at
Such an outlandish
Notion, as I’m sure
I did about so many
Other things of
Lasting consequence.
If only there were
A way to travel back
And implore myself to
Consider other options
Instead of picking up
The pieces for the
Rest of my days.
Stop for a moment and
Think back to a time
When we weren’t fighting,
When we agreed that
We liked each other and
That we were both
Human beings deserving of
Being treated with kindness
And compassion, when we didn’t
Vilify one another to
Appease some internal
Feeling of discomfort,
Some part of us unfinished
That we refuse to address.
Sitting by himself,
Hoping someone will
Stop by,
Ask how he’s doing.
Nobody does,
They never do,
Maintenance of
Flimsy normalcy
Being much more comfortable
Than reaching out.
They go about their business.
Waiting for something
That might never happen.
Standing by
Just in case.
The days pass,
Nothing changes.
Optimism becomes
Hopelessness.
Another opportunity
To learn and grow.
