She’s made her choice:
Careening through
Life spewing hate
And divisiveness.
Sure, she makes a lot
Of money, and is often
Recognized in restaurants,
But that’s where it ends.
When she gets home and
Takes off the persona,
She has to live with
What she’s become.
It never goes away,
The speculation about
What might have been,
Whether she made the
Right decisions or
Prematurely caved in
For comfort or safety
Rather than courageously
Embracing uneasiness,
Believing in herself,
Discovering who she is,
Living with courage
Instead of trepidation.
Sitting across from her
Therapist, Kelly asks
Why all men are so
Messed up and hurt nice
Women like her
Over and over.
The answer turns out to
Be the the same as the one
From the faraway voice
In the back of her mind:
They are a product of
Insecure fathers and
The women who put up
With them.
Kelly mulls over this
New bit of information
And resolves that the
Cycle ends with her.
He can’t do it,
It would mean
Going down a path
Leading in an altogether
Unsavory direction
He would never
Consider but for
His desperation.
Once again,
He does something that
Turns his world completely
Upside down, and not in a
Good way, forcing him to
Do much more work than he
Would have had he paid
Just a little more attention
At the very beginning of
The whole endeavor.
A thoughtful walk on a
Pensive day with nowhere
In particular to go and
Many places to explore.
Reach down and trace
The innocent perfection
Of a tiny flower,
Overlooked by many,
But not you.
Alone in a room,
Wondering if anything
He’s done has any value,
Whether his decisions
Have all been mistakes,
Despondency his companion,
Inner comfort unreachable,
Questioning everything that
Has transpired in his life,
A sense that nothing will
Ever go right because it
Never has before,
He gets up and leaves.
Relationship hindered by
A single careless action.
One thoughtless moment:
Unplanned, unconscious,
Blundering, impulsive,
Disproportionate, reactive.
The slight nudge that
Changes everything.
A cringe that won’t
Leave her alone.
She wishes she could
Take it back.
A stranger smiles at her;
She tenses up with anger,
Reliving those crushing
Moments when a smile
Served as a taunt,
A belittling punch to
Keep her in her place,
Anesthetize her joy,
Until she’s ready.
