He grew up in a cozy neighborhood
Within a bigger town.
His mind developed just enough to
Leave room to spare.
He reached great heights professionally,
Smaller inward gains.
At every pivotal moment a
Narrow voice promising certainty.
There’s really not much to it,
Just keep them off-balance by
Scaring them to death and feeding
Them a steady diet of misinformation,
Keep their attention on something
Else while you steal everything
They’ve got behind their backs
As they blame the wrong entities
For their continuing misfortune.
Another day passes
Uneventfully as the
One before it.
Walking through the halls,
Smiling at only
The right people.
Forming the cliques
Required to establish
Power and position.
Practicing the stratagems
Necessary to secure
The circle of influence.
Predetermined steps
Up the ladder,
Preserving the club.
Being a curious person I couldn’t
Resist looking into the neglected building.
A lonely desk, papers strewn around,
Period pictures on the wall, dust
Coating everything, gradually muffling
All distinction and memory. My companion
Talked about the good old days when
Things were better, people were kinder,
Life seemed simpler. Everyone knew
His place, not this one.
He feels so small that
Everything he does is to
Become bigger
Than anyone else, so no one
Can get to him the way
They did.
Suppressing yet another
Burst of emotion, he transforms
Sadness into blinding rage against
The tormentors who
Look at him askance or
Make him feel
Less than huge.
The accoutrements of weakness
Surround him,
He relishes the fleeting rush of
Confidence.
You didn’t have to leave me like that,
Holding my disbelief, a goldfish in a
Plastic bag, swimming aimlessly without
Anywhere to go, hope of escape,
Knowledge of anything else.
I’d grown accustomed to our dance,
The one where you lift me and
Let me down and throw me up in the air
Only to watch me fall, a knot of bruised
Feelings, unresolved questions.
I can’t convince you to be happy, to
Let go of the pain, to treat people well,
Like yourself, heal the hurts,
Overcome the fear.
I can’t implore you to dismiss many
Years of habit. Wavering foundation
Settling for crumbs, ease elusive,
A rippleless lake startled.
I can’t sway your mind to follow a
Sunny path lined with wildflowers,
Brimming with hope, the last cold
Gusts of winter warmed.
Looking out over the sea of
Beaming, proud, sputtering faces,
He remembers no specific
Moment when he was forced
To decide, but rather a pervasive,
All-encompassing presumption
Of how it should, would be.
His heart’s desires too small,
Too insignificant to compete with
Countless years of tradition
Pulling him into a metal box and
Swiftly sealing it with powerfully
Misplaced notions, expectations.
An unwelcome presence insinuated itself
Into an otherwise happy life, sat
Down without asking, made itself
Comfortable though uninvited.
It demanded constant attention and
Care, devoured focus and energy,
Diverted thoughts and disarranged
Routine without caring a whit.
In a moment of inspiration, eyes closed,
Imagination expunged it from the picture,
Life lived without glancing in its
Direction as it showed itself out.
