I finally speak my mind,
Saying things I should
Have years ago but never
Was permitted to or had
The courage to reveal.
My effort is met with
Silence, an impenetrable
Wall of defensiveness and
Hurt that no sound breaches.
I recognize it’s
Always been this way.
I’ve got mine.
You get yours.
I’ve got mine.
You get yours.
I made it on my own.
Survival of the fittest, man.
Why don’t you just do
What I do.
Be self-made, man.
Quit whining.
Self-reliance, man.
No handouts.
Do what I do.
Call your dad already.
Too many years toiling in
Dangerous surroundings, risking
Life and limb with every passing
Eternity.
Too many years wiping the dust
From his eyes, a hacking cough a
Perpetual reminder of his career
Choice.
Too many years. His son came of
Age and was pridefully encouraged,
Expected, to carry on the family
Tradition.
I’m getting married;
Planning the wedding of my dreams.
No expense spared,
I’m a true princess.
I’ve known since I was six.
This is my day.
My day to shine.
My day to glow.
Oh, true love wrapped in
Bows and an oversized gown,
Used once. Only six stress-filled
Months to deplete bank accounts.
Joy and love, manicured, compulsory.
The weight of judgment.
She always knew
He was extremely weak,
Something about the
Need to control every
Situation or the way
He would twitch when
His authority was
Questioned or any part
Of his self-aggrandizing
Pronouncements were
Challenged, a strange way
To live, always tiptoeing
Around the truth to save
An inadequate man’s ego.
Beep beep, here comes the car.
Honk honk, it heaves forward.
In the driver’s seat a small figure
Barely visible over the dashboard.
A quick hand gesture of disgust and
Impatience followed by a rather
Uncontrolled lurch onto the
Grass and the inevitable
Story about how the brakes didn’t
Work and the engine took off
On its own without warning.
Total absolution for the vehicle
Now resting in the living room.
He bloviates about the success of
His business, conveniently overlooking
The role of happenstance –
Right place, right time –
A product of pure chance –
No more effort expended than anyone else –
Pompously claiming prosperity is
The result of being
Extra smart, supernaturally savvy,
Gifted in some special way,
Unlike those he hallucinates
Don’t get off their posteriors and
Do something with the money they
Inherit from their families,
The arrogance of a windbag
Unappreciative of staggering fortune.
He puts a label on everything.
You’re this way, you’re that way.
He’s this, she’s that.
This is like this, this is like that.
A petty mind constricting its
Environment, stuffing it into
A box too small. Proscribe the
Outliers, dictate the parameters,
Keep the barbarians outside
The gates. Settle in for a
Comfortable spell in the lazy,
Soft throne of delusion.
I never knew how much I loved you
Until I saw you with someone else at that
Dinner party. Exchanging superficial
Pleasantries with the social climber to
My left, forced laughs, feigned interest,
A burning focus on your glowing visage.
Meet my eyes, acknowledge I mean
Something, that I wasn’t just some whim,
A forgettable dalliance until the right one
Came along and swept me from your
Consciousness, kicking an unwanted
Pebble from a manicured path.
