Relationship hindered by
A single careless action.
One thoughtless moment:
Unplanned, unconscious,
Blundering, impulsive,
Disproportionate, reactive.
The slight nudge that
Changes everything.
A cringe that won’t
Leave her alone.
She wishes she could
Take it back.
He says goodbye
For the last time,
Swallowing the anguish,
As he was taught to do.
Too many farewells,
A scarcity of hellos,
Don the sadness-quelling
Stifling suit of armor.
A feeling too many
For this kingdom,
Such things are
Not welcome.
I’m not sure
There was ever a time
When idyllic meadows
Felt familiar.
Subsisting in twilight,
Inches from darkness.
An indistinct form beckons,
Sometimes less aggressive,
Always debilitating.
Moving toward it,
Struggling to remember
Who I am.
Waves come and go,
Some larger than others,
An insistent ebb and flow.
Sitting alone on a rock
Looking out over
A vast expanse of blue.
What is today
Will not be soon,
As always.
Experiences
Of many kinds,
Some forgotten.
A quiet day
Except for a
Gradual awareness that
Everything has changed.
Mourning the past,
Hoping to return to it
At some point,
To a time when
Everything seemed possible,
A vast world beckoning,
Unencumbered.
Sitting alone in
Some coffee shop,
Wondering what
Might have been
Had he listened to
Anyone but himself.
I can’t remember the exact moment
I gave up my self. Perhaps it was the
Day that importance and worth became
Quaint terms of impossibility.
The culmination of many years of
Foregoing aspiration. A sapling gnarled by
Withering storms, exposed, awaiting
The next calamity to be endured.
A gradual lowering of expectations,
Unperceived and silent evisceration,
Rescue me from the burden of feeling,
Ask me to be someone else.
Though she would never admit it,
She didn’t care much for
Herself and for so long
Had been told she didn’t matter
That she gave her life
Over to something,
Someone else who
Would tell her what to do,
When to do it,
How to do it,
No questions, no comments,
Complete conformity.
Thought traded for comfort.
Mind and will atrophying.
She sits in a comfortable room
Surrounded by trappings of
Carefully contrived gaiety,
A union of convenience
Slowly dissolving in a
Pricey crystal wine glass.
Memories untended,
Reality makes its presence known
In a million small ways,
The inescapable aftermath of an
Impulsive, ill-conceived
Party thrown by teenagers when
Parents are away.
If she closes her eyes for a
Moment she remembers the
One who really matters.
