There are times when my mind goes
Blank.
There are times when my heart goes
Numb.
There are times when my feelings
Hurt.
There are times when my anxieties
Crush.
There are times when my insecurities
Debilitate.
There are times when I consciously
Redirect.
She searched a long time for that
One true love, the prince charming
Who would ride in on a white horse and
Sweep her off her feet,
The perfect gentleman who would
Tend to her every need and
Lavish her with romance and passion,
The chiseled, courageous protector
Who would rescue her at
The most harrowing moments,
The soul mate to make her whole.
She searched a long time,
He never appeared, didn’t exist.
She continued her journey and
Learned to love herself and
The real person she found.
Laugh a dry, clipped, hard cackle
Born of circumstance and necessity.
Spew words that diminish and
Marginalize humanity.
Give just enough affection at infrequent
Intervals to leave the vulnerable
Wondering if they measure up.
Cast judgment on those who don’t
Meet arbitrary requirements
Exuding from chronic hurt.
I saw her on a bus travelling down
A busy thoroughfare, on the way to
A bustling downtown. Our eyes met and
We exchanged a smile. She stood up,
Brushed a strand of auburn hair off her face,
Rang the bell, and got off at the next stop.
As the bus drove away our eyes met again.
My mind in turmoil, I hastily approached
The bus driver and asked to be let off
Between stops. I’m sorry sir, that’s against
The rules, he said deadpan, staring straight ahead.
The next stop too far away.
One thousand times he tried and
One thousand times he was denied.
The one thousandth and first attempt
Someone finally saw what everyone
Else had missed. The singular genius
Flowing from his heart, discovered by
Exactly the person who could see it.
After all she had been through
She still believed there was
Something else and found it
At the end of a particularly
Draining argument with
Someone who sapped all
Her energy and self-worth.
As she sat empty, despondent,
Alone, she felt it enter her;
A faint but welcome whisper,
Warmth, renewal.
Doing nothing at all
And still enjoying
Each other’s company.
Thoughtful conversations
Imbued with empathy,
Listening, depth.
Silly jokes
About anything
And everything.
