You can’t do that.
You don’t matter.
You’re not important.
You’re worthless.
You’ll never amount to anything.
Color inside the lines.
Stick to the script.
Don’t rock the boat.
Don’t talk back.
Keep it to yourself.
Forget those dreams.
Be someone else.
Live the life you’re told to.
Follow the rules.
Surrender.
At some level,
No doubt buried in
The deepest recesses
Of his psyche,
He realizes the words
Coming out of his mouth
Are hurtful.
Cold indifference,
All-consuming fear,
Learned at the
Receiving end of
Harsh punishment,
Propagated without
Conscious thought.
There came a time
When it was virtually
Impossible to have
Any kind of civil
Conversation with him,
All traces of humanity
And rationality had
Been surreptitiously
Extirpated from his mind,
Leaving only an angry shell.
Do as I say,
There are rules in this house,
Confess your trespasses,
Obey us without questioning,
Don’t stray from the norm,
Keep your thoughts to yourself.
Delicate, vulnerable beings
Ground up and extruded,
Forced into a mold greased with
Insecurity and fear.
Unmet needs, unfinished business.
Creativity, humanity desecrated.
She said something that was
Deeply meaningful to her, a secret
Kept for too long at too great a cost.
When it was time, she let it out and
Waited. Uncomfortable squirms,
Furrowed brows, relived memories,
Erupted into slashing counterattacks.
Protect the fabricated narrative
At all costs. Lock the truth back in
It’s cell and mention not its name again,
Harden defenses, change the subject.
The rage arising
From not having a voice,
Being denied the
Dignity of sharing
What’s on one’s mind,
Participating as an equal
In the conversation,
Listened to,
Uninterrupted,
Treated as someone
Who matters.
Don’t tell me that you didn’t hear
Me. My voice is omnipotent and I
Take great pains to raise it adequately
When I need you to pay attention.
Are you listening? I can’t tell whether
You are or not through my cascade of
Verbiage mercilessly engulfing everything
In its wake. Unnoticed, the sound of
Another voice, doused.
With the imminent departure, the
Maelstrom begins. Whirling out of
Control, compelled by latent
Tendencies writhing unconsciously
To the occasion, disordered,
Unstoppable, unlistening.
Stumble through each moment
Anticipating the unfathomable
Conclusion. Clear away all vestiges of
Reason. Something might change,
It usually doesn’t. Adhere to
Unconsciousness, passing.
Such a low trust reservoir,
All it took was
Speaking up one time.
Against the rules,
Only authorized, one-way,
Superficial talk allowed.
That was the last time
They got together.
What passes for normal.
