poems about family

It Will Never Happen

I wish I could assert
How unhappy I am
When I’m around you,
How my throat closes
And my chest hurts
When I think of spending
Any length of time
In your vicinity,
How your presence
Makes me think of
The innumerable times
When I was crushed
With complete disregard,
Laughed at as I lay there,
Screaming for help.
I’d like to say all
These things, but
It will never happen.

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Revealed

I wonder what you’re
Doing right now,
Not because I want to
But because it was
Inculcated in me from
Childhood, an obsequious
Subservience coupled
With absolute deference
To feeble monarchs
Handing down flawed edicts,
Intolerant of any dissent
Or individual thought
Lest their mangled innards
Be revealed in all
Their stinking wretchedness.

Adulterators

A young man offered his being,
His vulnerable, exposed essence,
Pure, unadulterated by adult
Adulterators adulating duty.
His gift was considered for
Less than a millisecond and
Replaced by stringent rules of
Decorum and convoluted honor,
An imposition of boot on face.
Succumb to the tide as it draws
You beneath the waves.

Nonsense

My knotted insides signal a
Debilitating inability to stand up
And let my voice be heard,
To announce my value.
Stop making waves,
Follow the rules.
Nonsense
Rubbed into my brain by
People desperately trying to
Quell entrenched feelings of
Helplessness, unimportance.
Imperious bluster annihilating
Dissidence and love.

Exemplary

Build a tidy family,
Secrets and appearances,
Oaths and promises.
Don’t tell what happened,
Never betray this to
Anyone, anywhere, anytime.

A nest lined with falsity,
Hidden from street view
Behind impenetrable
Curtain of scrubbed cheeriness,
Exemplary, faithful, guiltless,
Eternal fear, pressure.

Distance

I don’t know how many
Ways I can say this.

A blank look,
Devoid of any understanding.

We’ve gone over this
A million times.

Another imperceptive retort,
Deflecting truth.

I can’t make someone see
What they won’t.

Silence.
Distance.

Unmitigated

He remembers sitting
In the living room
Absorbing the tireless
Rants of his father,
Most of his family and
Acquaintances, about those
People and what needed
To be done to them,
Interspersed with moments
Of unmitigated terror
Watching the hulking figure
Stumble toward him,
The hand striking his face
For no reason other than
Being in the vicinity,
The inescapable continuation
Of distorted tradition,
Words and blows creating
Impenetrable callouses.

Exorcising

Beat mercilessly
As a child,
Belittled,
Minimized,
Robbed of any sense
Of self-love,
He gravitates toward
Others with
Similar wounds.

They form a
Movement of
Violent hatred,
Subjugating other
Human beings,
Killing undesirables,
Craving the fleeting
Feeling of power,
Never satisfied.

A cult psychosis,
Collective hypnosis,
Fabricating a false
History, distorting
The truth, exorcising
Personal demons by
Trying to take over
The world instead of
Healing themselves.

Untruths

Seeing an old photo,
Remembering what it felt
Like to exist then,
The relentless
Inner bewilderment,
Ruthless untruths
Forcing me to be
Someone else,
Voices other than mine.