Here’s how to
Build a better world:
Stop child abuse.
She’s convinced herself
That the years of hearing
She didn’t matter had no
Effect on her when absolutely
Every single thing she does,
And has done for the past
Many years, to destroy herself
Is the result of a
Callous insult,
Contemptuous look,
Dismissive shrug.
It happens again,
And I’m not quite sure
What to do about it.
One thing I know is
That there’s absolutely
Nothing I can do about it.
I’ll sit here and wait,
Hoping that it doesn’t
Recur, though it will.
In one corner of the
House, someone was reading
Something that went
Completely against what
Everyone else in the home
Deemed appropriate,
Something so revolutionary
It might actually allow
Some light to shine upon
An otherwise shadowy mess.
Told he should not
Feel anything,
That he needs to
Push it down until
He, supposedly,
Can barely remember,
Erase it with some
Type of substance or
Surrogate behavior,
Chaotic flashes of a
Past best left behind
But never far away,
No matter what
The diversion.
I guess I expected
Something else but,
As usual,
The same thing happened
And I’m left feeling
The same inadequacies,
Which is what I’ve
Always done.
A complete absence of self-awareness,
Manifesting as the total lack of
Ability to see the effect of one’s
Toxic actions on others,
Perpetuating an unchanging
Cycle of discomfort and suffering
Mangling anything in its path and
Rendering reason insignificant.
Swimming against a torrent,
The suffocating swirls of hurt
Pulling one down until
No self remains.
Standing
Across the
Road from the
Place where he
Grew up and
Reluctantly became
What he is today
And wishes to
Leave behind.
For years and years
I averted my eyes,
Pretended it wasn’t happening,
Wished against all reason
That it would somehow change.
I was desperately deluded,
What I had felt so vividly
Proved itself lasting,
And remains so
To this very day.
