Racism.
The room grows quiet, then defensive, then hostile.
Immaturely unable to face the truth,
Reflect on wrongdoings,
Consider truth and reconciliation.
No change occurs
Without admitting past violations.
I’m sure our
Last conversation
Had a far different
Effect on you than
It did on me.
That was always the
Way things transpired,
Me assaulted,
You oblivious,
Mandatory discomfort.
I don’t expect you’ll
Ever grow a heart,
Not for me,
Or anyone else,
Including you.
He writes about the dark
Because he remembers
What it was like to be there,
Staggering around without direction,
Lost in recognizable surroundings,
Unable to reach out to ask
Someone to help alleviate his pain,
Not realizing solace exists,
A disoriented creature walking aimlessly
Down an unfamiliar street,
Looking for something, anything,
A long, convoluted journey toward
Some other, lighter place.
I’m sorry for
What I did,
I didn’t know
What else to do.
If I had a chance
To relive the moment,
I would behave
Differently.
I wish time
Would allow me to
Go back and
Change things.
If only you
Could see me now,
On my
New path.
Most would rather
Do anything other than
Look inside,
Guaranteeing stasis,
Choosing being stuck,
Unaware,
Hopeless,
Over reliving the pain
In order to heal it,
Joining the herd
That never experiences
Greener pastures.
Apprehensive life spent
Looking over shoulder,
One hair away from infringing
On someone else at all times,
A moment from crossing the
Line into transgression,
Running from capture,
Contempt for everyone,
Everything, every time,
Clashing sounds and
Images clouding mind.
Start.
Stop.
Second-guess.
Fret.
Start again.
Stop again.
Think about it some more.
Worry some.
Start.
Falter.
Fade.
In the garden,
A small bird
Stops by to say hello.
Breathing more peacefully,
I realize everything
Will be okay.
Trying to occupy my
Day with constant
Activity to provide
Respite from the
Incessant onslaught
Of memories unwelcome,
Reminders of occurrences
I don’t want to relive
But that won’t
Leave me alone.
I pretend they’re not
There but that only
Lasts until the next
Moment I’m not doing
Something and the
Silence is supplanted
Yet again by
Undesirable
Recollections.
