I’m sorry for
What I did,
I didn’t know
What else to do.
If I had a chance
To relive the moment,
I would behave
Differently.
I wish time
Would allow me to
Go back and
Change things.
If only you
Could see me now,
On my
New path.
Once again,
He does something that
Turns his world completely
Upside down, and not in a
Good way, forcing him to
Do much more work than he
Would have had he paid
Just a little more attention
At the very beginning of
The whole endeavor.
A dull monotone
Reciting rote stories
Of past glories,
Young men who
Made everyone proud
In the most superficial ways,
And all those who followed
Them unquestioningly.
Bored students staring into
The distance,
Force fed the same tired
Propaganda lines about
False courage,
Hollow achievement,
Maintaining the status quo,
Dreaming in black and white.
An authoritarian regime
Can’t seize power without supporters,
Fearful creatures clutching onto
Fever dreams of a past that never existed,
Exuding cruelty,
Lacking compassion,
Celebrating a terrifying inability to
Feel anything, for anyone, at any time,
Dullards hypnotized by a
Big Daddy promising a golden age
Where they can once again
Step on everyone else’s neck.
There is something
Unsettling about
How he looks at people,
A distant, empty gaze
Betraying someone who
Isn’t feeling all that
Settled inside but is
Trying to project
Self-assurance.
He goes about his
Business as if nothing
Is wrong, projecting
Copious confidence until
He inevitably detonates.
When I let go
Of the need for
Someone else to be
Something else,
I find that I’m able
To breathe again,
Go about my business
Without the all-consuming
Fever that keeps me
Tied to anger,
Unable to move in any
Direction but down,
Wondering why I’m
Not acceptable.
After many years,
The tempest passes.
A warm glow fills the sky,
Verdant meadows glistening.
The chirping of birds,
Flowers swaying in the breeze.
So much time spent in hiding,
Time to go out and enjoy.
Breathing in deeply,
Everything better.
Trying to find a solution.
It’s not there,
No matter how hard she looks.
Not yet, at least.
She wonders how much longer
It will take, or whether
Fate conspires against her.
With no immediate answer,
She keeps going,
As she always has.
Keep trying,
There’s no way
This will work.
Keep going,
No tangible
Progress.
You’ll make it,
Failure a familiar
Constant.
Stick with it,
It may never come
To fruition.
Don’t give up,
You’re
Worth it.
