In his quietest moments he
Understood that it was not
Others who merited his caustic
Contempt or held his fate in
Their unworthy hands. It was
He who had the responsibility
To heal the wounds that had
Found permanent asylum in
The disremembered corners of
His unconsciousness.
What a joyful moment when
Some person realizes how
Great she is, opens her wings,
Soars undaunted into the
Realm of possibilities,
Blissful realization.
What you have to sell,
They don’t want,
But that doesn’t mean
It has no value,
Just that this is
Not the right audience.
Somewhere out there are
People who appreciate
What you offer.
Remember that,
No matter what happens on
Any particular day,
You’re always wonderful.
How safe I feel until it appears:
Lashing, shoving, upsetting
My calm certitude. Rattling,
Confusing, shaking the walls of
My nerves. Look around and wait
In tense anticipation for tranquility to
Return. Try in vain to disregard the
Haphazard din, continuous thrusts.
Calm arrives, disquiet remains.
Systematic pattern of
Control. Relentlessly
Dictate behaviors, thoughts,
Feelings, experiences.
Obligatory blindfold
Keeps out the light,
Walking unsteadily in a
Realm of mystery,
Uncertainty,
More complex than necessary,
Superstition supersedes.
Compliant, prostrate
Supplicant,
Managed from above.
Mind racing, head breaking,
Trying to find an answer,
Any answer. Programmed to
Believe in anything but me,
Directed to forego self.
Don’t trust yourself. Keep it to
Yourself. You don’t really matter.
Only we matter. Voices of reason
Tying my hands and muffling my
Being. Not myself.
Mind racing, head breaking.
Trying to find an answer,
My answer, unadulterated.
Work yourself up into a frenzied
State of outrage where everything is
Far more horrid than mundane reality.
Keep boiling until a fine froth forms around
Your mouth. Continue agitating and stirring
The overflowing pot. Spout senseless sounds.
Rage until there is no other option than to
Examine yourself and let in the light.
When will this end?
Constant, unmerciful,
Unyielding, unending
Sameness. Stunted.
Expand rapidly, move, race,
Reach. The one you are
Exuberantly celebrated.
Arms open as wings.
Past events dictating
Present behavior,
Unconsciously adhering to
Erroneous messages
Leading to calamity.
Open the window,
Breathe in the promise of
Vibrant panoramas,
Fresh possibilities flowing
Joyfully forward.
