I see his face
Contort, betraying
The inner conflict
That comes from believing
Something that isn’t
True, twisting reality
Into whatever it becomes
When it is extinguished
By raw fear and bias,
Self-preservation at
The expense of others.
He’s spent most
Of his life wishing
For a time when
Everything would be
Different, a reprieve
From mundanity, failure,
A mostly tepid existence
Tinged in grey.
Today is the day it all
Changes, unless he has
Anything to say about it.
Trying to avoid doing
Something that really
Needs to be done,
An uncomfortable itch
That doesn’t go away.
Busying oneself with
Distractions,
Reminders unabating,
Relentless in their
Power to unsettle,
Unstoppable until
Properly addressed.
Light doesn’t get in here,
Only an unsettling dullness
Feeding unconsciousness.
Judgments arrived at
Through thoughtlessness,
Ferocious fear.
Enlightenment derided,
Hurt the only
Acceptable currency.
Another reflexive reaction
To imaginary threats,
Absence of love.
At the end of his life,
He realizes that
His crowning achievement
Was to live in
All-consuming fear of
Everything and everyone,
Choice gifts bestowed
Upon him by a fist,
Dismissive look.
Sometimes, if he
Closes his eyes tightly,
He can just barely
Picture a place
He never dared visit,
Where he’s smiling.
Confronted with a conundrum,
Summarily dismissed as
Not important, relegated to a
Dark basement where notions are
Left to rot until rediscovered by
Unsuspecting eyes, flummoxed by
Distressing absence of insight,
A bug scampering away when
A light is turned on,
Festering complications left
Unanswered by a staggering
Scarcity of sapience, valor.
A familiar scene
Repeated with startling
Regularity.
One person,
Riddled with fear,
Discriminates against another.
The next step is to
Cry foul and insist the
Victim is the perpetrator.
Building a house of
Maudlin self-pity,
Pretending they’re persecuted.
Maiming others
With impunity by
Claiming self-defense.
Mindset of punishment
And retaliation, always
A message to be sent,
Incessant posturing,
Don’t show the chink
In the armor though
It can’t be missed in
All its withering
Insecurity, a single
Approach to everything.
He grew up in a cozy neighborhood
Within a bigger town.
His mind developed just enough to
Leave room to spare.
He reached great heights professionally,
Smaller inward gains.
At every pivotal moment a
Narrow voice promising certainty.
