“Everything will be okay,”
She reassured me, but
I knew that this time was
Different, I had seen it
In history books, where
Things start to unravel
Due to some strange
Confluence of events and
The people who cause them;
Unbalanced, undesirable,
Leading in an entirely
Alarming direction.
Remember that time when you
Tried to start that thing that drove
You crazy and made you doubt
Who you really are and caused
You to flee into a situation where
You had even less control and
Wished you could return to the
Time when you simply were
Fearful of what you didn’t know?
I immediately see it
In his eyes,
Just beneath the bluster,
Pervasive fear, and
Not just a flicker but a
Fully formed flame,
Pleading for solace,
Some kind of relief from
All these years of pain and
Everything he’s done to others to
Try to silence the agony.
He doesn’t let me in, but it’s
Clear he knows I know, and
Quickly moves on to the
Next person who doesn’t.
When the conversation
Predictably becomes
One-sided, he decides
That this is the last
Time he’ll endure it and
That it is necessary
To interrupt this
Exhausting cycle.
Breathe in, for it will be a while
Before you can do it again.
Guard against marauding
Chimeras salivating for your soul.
Defensive posture, ready to
Strike at the smallest provocation
If need be (and there always is).
Don’t let them take anything from
You, crouch, crouch.
Eventually pulling back,
Putting some distance
Between him and the chaos,
Disorienting cacophony of
Scattered turmoil,
Confused muttering,
Rash reactions to undefined
Challenges, seeing the
Spectacle for what it is,
The disorder of wounds
Unhealed, dictating reaction,
A whirl of activity
Leading nowhere but distress,
Arriving at different points
For disparate reasons.
Let us travel to a place where
We can leave behind the
Disappointments of the day
And acquire a beautiful new
Condominium with onyx
Counter tops and gold
Towel holders, and one of those
Intercom things that lets us know
Someone is here to visit and
We buzz them in to spend
An afternoon immersing
Ourselves in refreshing
Daiquiris and dancing,
Golden towel holders
Resplendent.
After all she had been through
She still believed there was
Something else and found it
At the end of a particularly
Draining argument with
Someone who sapped all
Her energy and self-worth.
As she sat empty, despondent,
Alone, she felt it enter her;
A faint but welcome whisper,
Warmth, renewal.
Eyes slowly, calmly fluttering open,
Deep breaths of still, clean
Morning air on the veranda,
A thoughtfully prepared cup of coffee.
Contentedly enjoying the greenery
In a soft inviting chair.
A restorative peaceful moment,
The comforting warmth of
Everything going well.
Then, sudden, absolute, total
Nothingness.
