I thought I couldn’t do it and
I didn’t. I told myself I wasn’t
Good enough and it came true.
I didn’t take a risk and stayed
Stuck to my couch.
Wishing things were different.
Hoping things would change.
No breaks coming my way.
I saw a bird land on a branch.
He paused, cleaned his feathers and
Flew without a thought.
Work yourself up into a frenzied
State of outrage where everything is
Far more horrid than mundane reality.
Keep boiling until a fine froth forms around
Your mouth. Continue agitating and stirring
The overflowing pot. Spout senseless sounds.
Rage until there is no other option than to
Examine yourself and let in the light.
Let me make as much noise as
I can. Look at me, I’m as happy
As can be. Sputtering, vibrating,
Carefully maintained for maximum
Decibel enjoyment. Sit by my side,
Look out the window and
Talk about nothing.
When will this end?
Constant, unmerciful,
Unyielding, unending
Sameness. Stunted.
Expand rapidly, move, race,
Reach. The one you are
Exuberantly celebrated.
Arms open as wings.
No one there.
No one there.
Where’d they go?
I don’t know.
I’ll wait a moment.
I’ll wait a lifetime.
I’ll wait no longer.
I’ll wait perpetually.
I’m on my phone.
I’m on my phone.
Important as the next.
I’m on my phone.
I’m on my phone.
Furiously feeding my soul.
I’m on my phone.
I’m on my phone.
It will matter someday.
It’s not that funny when you’re the object of
Scorn and manipulation, subtly executed.
Stand right here for eighteen years,
I’ll show you what it’s like.
Difficult to make out any one thing let alone
Remember the specific time I failed under its
Growing weight. Slow motion immobilization.
Come now, I’ll tell you more about it.
Let us relive those glory days when,
Big as a mountain, you saw fit to
Slide into the valley silencing all
But your conscience.
She walked out of my dreams and
Into my van. I did not know her but
She said she was supposed to meet
Me there, preordained happenstance.
Stopping at a dusty convenience store
Purchasing sustenance of dubious merit.
Exchanging pleasantries and searching for
Clarity. Back on the road enjoying the
Wind blowing through our uncertainty.
What if I told you I don’t care
What you say or what you do
Or how you do it or why you think
It’s the most important thing in the world.
I bet you’d keep talking about yourself.
