Sitting in the dark
Clutching what he sees
As the last vestiges
Of his power and prestige.
Things have changed too much,
They’re just not the same
As when he was growing up,
Burdensome reality.
Everything was better when
Things rightfully went his way,
Not because of who he was,
Just by random chance.
Acutely uncomfortable with
The raw pain he hears gushing
From the other end of the line,
He goes to his standard
Responsibility-shirking retort,
Diverting attention while
Further wounding his victim.
He wins the battle without
Realizing he’s lost everything else.
He breathes a sigh of relief,
At least he didn’t have
To admit to anything.
A scenario briefly flashes
In his mind, unhinged parents
Directing their rage at him,
His desperate attempts
To escape at any cost.
Stop being so hard.
I can’t.
Stop being so mean.
I won’t.
Stop being so controlling.
I refuse.
O.K. Continue as you are.
I will.
Day 31
Begin meetings with
Cronies who have
Agreed to split their
Take with me
Shuffle money my
Way maintain
False fronts to
Obscure my efforts to
Pay myself
Handsomely
I don’t care
What you say,
I’m going to
Walk over there,
Right now, and
Sit on that waffle.
No one could identify the exact
Moment when he turned the corner.
It might have been the death of his
Brother, or an unexpected call
Announcing he was to be a father, or
His hours being cut at the plant.
Regardless, he showed no exterior
Signs of discomfort except for the
Occasional grumpy comment.
He went on as if everything was
Business as usual, the new him
Gradually revealed.
I don’t care when I kill a dream
Unintentionally and do
Everything in my power to
Not think about it much.
I hate when I kill a dream
Unintentionally and do
Everything in my power to
Reverse the flow.
You could have just told me that
You didn’t want to see me any
Longer instead of inviting me to
The party so I could be an
Eyewitness to the horrifying
Spectacle of you greatly enjoying
Someone else’s company.
It might have saved my heart from
Hemorrhaging behind a freakishly
Plastered-on smile and compulsive,
Frail attempts at humor.
Spasming, freshly wounded.
It crept up on me.
I didn’t realize how attached
I was to my original idea or
How hard it would be to
Reshape my conception now
Rendered meaningless.
An unsolicited shattering of
Comfortable routine,
Shaking me awake,
Reminding me there is
A lot of work left to do.
