Light doesn’t get in here,
Only an unsettling dullness
Feeding unconsciousness.
Judgments arrived at
Through thoughtlessness,
Ferocious fear.
Enlightenment derided,
Hurt the only
Acceptable currency.
Another reflexive reaction
To imaginary threats,
Absence of love.
Everything is going along
Much as it always has,
Until something changes.
Whether due to an accumulation
Of slights over time,
A single major event,
Or increase of self-esteem,
The relationship shifts,
Moving in a new, less intimate
Direction, trust depleted,
Superficiality followed by
Disengagement, one party
Expanding, the other static,
Continuing separately.
She comes home
After a hard day’s work
Entering numbers into
A computer,
Staring at a cold,
Uncaring screen,
Figures passing by,
Taking moments of
Her life with them,
All to pay the bills
For those she loves.
She walks in the door,
He gives her a hug
And listens to how
Her day went.
They all say
It doesn’t matter,
Nonchalance covering for
Ambiguity, confusion, fear.
In moments
Away from the crowd,
They know there is
Something else.
For now, they avoid it,
Hoping it will resolve itself,
Much easier than
Having to think about it.
Each day passes,
And with it the opportunity
To acknowledge
What’s missing.
Not a moment’s peace for her,
A self-imposed trajectory
Unimpeded by introspection or
Even the faintest understanding
That maybe things
Could be different.
She’s become so used to
This particular routine,
Refusing to consider any other,
Shallow depth of field,
Never seeing the horizon.
Heightened expectations,
Consistent disillusion
Exacerbated by impatience.
Waiting becomes a familiar,
Unwanted companion.
So many other things to
Be done, dreams to be
Fulfilled, moments of joy,
Return to calmness.
Mr. Robin
Comes by to visit.
He looks at me,
I wonder what
He’s thinking.
It doesn’t matter,
I’m just glad
He’s here,
My little bird friend.
Enamored with positions of
Supposed authority,
Constantly fixated on
Self-preservation,
Uneasy, imbalanced, suspicious,
Routinely unenlightened,
Limiting growth,
Punishing change,
Loathing insight,
Enabling dysfunction,
Shunning anyone who
Doesn’t fall in line,
Ordinariness covering for itself.
He goes off on yet
Another long-winded and
Excruciatingly boring commentary
On some topic he thinks
Makes him appear erudite but
Is really just another
Desperate attempt to be
More important than others,
Trying to overcome the
Voices of disapproval that
Won’t leave him alone
No matter what his title.
