A quiet day
Except for a
Gradual awareness that
Everything has changed.
Mourning the past,
Hoping to return to it
At some point,
To a time when
Everything seemed possible,
A vast world beckoning,
Unencumbered.
Another letter arrives, and
With it a reminder of
The unrelated path I’m on.
No longer an unwitting participant
In a skewed game of
Manipulation and belittlement.
The demands of the past
Attempt to weaken my resolve
But fail to succeed.
All at once,
Each thought
More intrusive than the last,
Vying for attention,
Demanding flashing signs.
In the turbulence,
A small voice beckoning,
Comfort and solace,
Purpose.
I realize that
What I thought was authentic
Turned out to be
Something else
Unsubstantial, inane,
A deliberate fabrication
Demanding my time
Giving nothing in return but
Empty stimulation,
False meaning,
Superficiality.
It’s cold outside,
Snow on the ground,
But the girl with
A hula hoop
Is enjoying herself.
A group of men converge, a raucous
Interplay of competing smiles and
Fables. Towels snapping, quips
Flying, one-upmanship obligatory,
Manic talking, absent listening,
The rustling of business cards being
Exchanged on the fly with
Assurances earnestly attached.
I’ll call you soon, we ought to get
Together for lunch, I like what you’re
Doing, that’s interesting. The phone
Lays silent at his side, unringing,
Unblinking. Useless. A sour
Reminder of broken promises,
Confidences offered in jest. Lack of
Depth, sincerity, meaning.
What seemed initially
To be exactly what
She always wanted
Turned out to be a weight
Around her neck,
A constant reminder
That things would
Never be the same,
That she very well
Might have chosen the
Absolutely wrong path and
Would never be able
To admit it to anyone.
So brutally hurt inside
That the only way
He feels anything is
When he vanquishes
A foe, real or
Imagined,
Domination trying to
Stand in for love.
He’ll tell you he’s
Just fine,
Strong,
But even those who
Cover for him know
He’s not.
Run, jump, jubilant, free.
Hunker, flinch, frown, ossify.
Two outwardly normal men
Sit on a park bench.
One admires the birds in the sky
Playing a carefree game.
The other sees a small
Chance of heavy rain and
Intractable despondency.
