For a while
It was no longer happening.
They wondered why.
It all returned to
Normal after a while,
Unfortunately.
I chance upon
A much-beloved song
From long ago.
A flood of memories,
Youth, hope, wonder,
Pervasive self-loathing.
Dreams of being loved,
Someday, by someone,
In a different time.
It can’t just be easy,
I guess,
Everything appears to have
The distinct tendency to
Become annoyingly complicated
Instead of pleasantly simple,
Developing into ever more
Complex convolutions of
Contortions engendering
Unnecessary grief and
Consternation rather than
Peace and calm,
A straightforward task
No longer,
Realization elusive.
Each key means something,
I try to make sense of it all,
Tapping randomly with
Little purpose beyond
Filling empty space.
It would be nice if at least
Part of it were meaningful,
But I know it’s not,
Nor do I expect it to be,
Unless something changes.
He doesn’t like or
Understand himself,
So he imposes his will
On others in order to
Temporary placate
Whatever noise is going on
In his head, the urge to
Soothe the inner discomfort
Greater than anything else,
A stunning inability to
See anything beyond his
Own itching needs.
A new restaurant opens
Nearby and we decide
To give it a try.
Things don’t go as planned,
We likely won’t return.
On the drive home we
Discuss it animatedly.
As he sits alone at
The kitchen table,
In the middle of the night,
Under the unsettling glare
Of a single light bulb,
He wonders when he might
Get some sleep,
Whether the voices will
Ever quiet down enough
To let him rest.
Somewhere deep inside
He knows the answer but
It is hidden in a choking
Bramble of avoidance.
She keeps wishing
For a different result
Although history
Tells her that
Nothing will change,
Everything will remain
Exactly as it is now.
How to restructure the past?
She wonders,
An impossibility
She has not yet
Given up on.
Most of the time she’s
All smiles and effusive
Kindness but every once
In a while something else
Appears, a face that
Speaks of needs unmet and
Scores unsettled, a primal
Shriek of pain and
Unhappiness tearing a ragged
Hole in the tenuous fabric
That is her daily appearance.
